So, you got through hurdle number one… secured the ring! You have your venue — hurdle 2, now you are trying to figure out who to invite. Here are my 6 tips on how to build your wedding guest list along with your partner. You heard right, this is a group activity so don’t exclude your “better” half!
Create Invitee Rules
This is your first step. Setting the ground rules of who is/isn’t invited. So go general and ask yourselves — do we want our wedding to be adults only? how many people can we afford to pay for? are we going to allow for a +1? do we limit family to the immediate family OR will we allow second and third cousins? –these are crucial in setting the tone for building out the guest list. As you are listing out guest, it also acts as an accountability check point. **Don’t make exceptions, i.e., don’t say it’s adults only and invite someone’s kid. It doesn’t go over well during the reception.
Fill out your R.S.V.P card
That’s right! you heard right, it’s up to you to fill in the blanks. Think about it as a check – you would never hand someone a blank check because you hand over the ability to limit how much that person can cash from your bank. It’s the same for RSVP cards, fill out how many people are invited or write their names (if you want to be really specific).
Pre-planned response to last minute R.S.V.P
It’s going to happen – so just make sure that you and your spouse have a planned response –be direct but be nice! Alternative to that is having a plan to accommodate late comers (if you are willing to do that)
Build a Primary and Secondary List Guest List
Basically you have to determine your core group of family and friends that are 100% they have to be there during your special day. Then determine the family/friends that perhaps you aren’t as close to OR you have not spoken to in some time. If you get a negative response (aka I cannot attend your wedding), start sending invites to people in your secondary list. BAM! a plan for everything 🙂
Account for Couples on Your List
So here is the thing – married couples come as a bundled package. PERIOD. If you are really close to someone from work, but you’ve met their spouse like twice, guess what? You. have. to. invite. the. spouse! And no you cannot put the spouse in the secondary list. So just make sure you are accounting bundled deals — i mean, married couples in your primary list’s numbers.
Handle Your Parents!
Typically it’s the moms – they want to try to squeeze in a couple of their friends that have watch you grow up. Guess what? this is not their wedding. Sorround yourselves with people who are closest to YOU, the couple. I promise you – mom may be grumpy now, but during the wedding, she will be ok!
Building your wedding guest list does not need to lead to arguments. Follow the tips below and stick by them – I assure you it will lessen the stress once you start to list names and making final edits.
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